Tuesday, January 22, 2013

My Catch 22 Home

Ever been there? Your house is a catch 22. Mine is! See, if I had people over more often, I would work harder to keep my house cleaner...but if my house were cleaner...people would probably be more willing to come over!

I am not saying my house is FILTHY! But it gets messy! I don't like DIRT...but clutter happens. Daily!

Okay...so let me think about it differently....why am I more willing to "impress" other people than I am my own family? Why are the others opinions more important than those of my family? Why should I keep the house clean for people who may (or may not) stop in but not for my family who lives here daily? OUCH! Okay, I think an attitude adjustment might be in order!

Sounds funny since I have a 14 year old daughter and discuss attitude adjustments regularly! :-) But in reality, I think I am the one who needs one! See, today is my birthday and it has not gone as planned. Not that I had a plan....but well...it wasn't what I expected. God has been challenging my thinking today! I was cold and I hate being cold so I started the day with a bit of a grump in me!

Had a great morning with my family but then was kinda lost. I dropped my son off to Grandma so I could go volunteer....and it was COLD in there. Gumpy hits again! Then I was alone in there....no one to chat with....you guessed it! Grumpy is back! Then the guy who is usually there in the morning said he wasn't coming in (sick kids). Now, the silly thing is that we sit at desks on opposite sides of the room and rarely talk unless it is about the business I am doing....but I am not alone there when he is there. As I am sitting there feeling a bit sorry for myself, thinking someone could have taken me to lunch for my birthday, or spent some time with me or something, my best friend called. She was obviously upset. She wanted to come and see me. That was fine...but I admit it (and yes, she will read this and laugh), Grumpy came back! I wanted her to want to come because she wanted to see ME...not because she was having a rough morning and needed to talk! Selfish, selfish, selfish! WOW! How not beautiful is that attitude! She comes...bearing tea (to turn into chai) and a donut. You know what...I am not even much of a donut person but that was the best donut I have had in a long time...because of the company! The thought behind it! Instead of Grumpy hitting me....God tapped my shoulder and showed me that the gift I was getting was TIME with my friend! And maybe a bit of an attitude adjustment!

After our visit, I was still alone in the office but didn't feel quite so lonely! I checked my face book and saw a friend who is struggling because her hubby is leaving her. Saw over 60 birthday wishes and immediately realized that most of the people are not ones who are daily involved in my life (or weekly, or monthly) and at first I felt like the weren't "Genuine" birthday greetings...Yep...God got involved again! More than 60 people took the time out of their busy days to think of me for even just a minute! Quit grumping and be thankful!

Apparently my attitude was STILL not where HE wanted it! Talked to another lady just after that....she is pregnant and living here while her husband lives in South Korea and is working to get the paperwork done to come live here. Oh...and partway through that process their apartment catches fire, kills their dog, burns him and ruins all the paperwork meaning they have to start all over. Oh, suddenly my selfishness is REALLY apparent! So finally! I decided to think about my attitude.

As I drove home I realized that I can make the change. It might not change my feelings...or my circumstances...but it will change me! I might still go to the self pity but as long as I drag myself out of it....I'm good. Then I walked inside and I saw a mess. Not a huge mess, but a sink full of dishes. My first thought was to grumble about lazy kids! Then I realized that I was the one who told the kids not to do their regular chores last night in favor of other projects. So if I wanted that sink empty, guess who better go do it!? Then it hit me....my kids didn't care and I could sit down and relax...after all...it is my birthday...I shouldn't HAVE to do anything! Oh YUCK! What an attitude! If my children talked like that I would be VERY UNHAPPY! So why was I doing it? Why was I excusing it in myself?

So, because it is MY birthday and I love MY family! Guess who is going to work hard to get the dishes DONE! That way the kids have one less chore to worry about later! And maybe, if someone shows up...my house will be just a little cleaner and they will feel a little more welcome and that catch 22 home will vanish and become a house that showcases my love for my family! After all...just take a glimpse! They are BEAUTIFUL!



2 comments:

  1. Neat post. And I admit it - I felt bad about dumping on you on your birthday. But I really needed it. Thank you for taking the time to sit and visit with me.

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    1. I could tell you needed it...and it turned out I did too even though I didn't see it at the time!

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