Tuesday, January 24, 2012

OK GOD! I'm LISTENING!

WOW! So I have been having one of those no good terrible horrible very bad days, right! Struggling as a parent, frustrated, overwhelmed and can't even find the paper that my best friend told me to look at for encouragement. So I sit at the computer and decide to check the FINANCES! What was I thinking! Then I check email! OH wait! There is an email titled...get this.... "When you're not good enough and the right things don't work". Wait, what was that? I mean, I have spent the morning wondering why I do the right things and try so hard and feel like I am failing! Why do I try to do the right things when parenting and yet feel like I am beating my head on a brick wall? How do I know as a parent when the right time is to love my kids and when is the right time to TOUGH love my kids? When do you let them fail and learn their lesson the hard way? How do you word the same thought 100 different ways just to reach them? How do you find the answers in this crazy mixed up insane world? And then you check email and there, in one sentence is how you are feeling all wrapped up! Then you read the article....oh no! No nice pretty answers here! No feel good pat on the back! No words of loving kindness! Just brutal honest truth! I CAN'T DO IT! It isn't MY failure because I am not SUPPOSED to be able to succeed in the first place! "There is NO EQUATION FOR PRODUCING A GODLY SON OR DAUGHTER!" Get this....I sat there thinking, WAIT! But I am trying to do the right thing! I am teaching them! My JOB is to raise them to be responsible and respectful and great adults! Teach them to function in the world! Teach them the value of hard work and diligence! Except that isn't what it says next....NO! It reminds me that "SALVATION DOESN'T COME BY THE WORK OF OUR HANDS!" And you know what! I KNOW that, and I KNOW that my salvation doesn't come from that! I volunteer and do things for God out of LOVE! My works are NOT my means to salvation, they are my expression of my love of my heavenly father! So why should I believe that my children's salvation comes through me? Wow! Slap me in the face with a feather and wake me up! It isn't about ME! It isn't about my ability to convince, cajole or threaten my children into cooperation in the home. It isn't about how many chores they can accomplish or how bad of threat I can come up with that motivates them to avoid the punishment. It is about teaching them to LOVE GOD! Once they love God, they will naturally start to take care of the other stuff, not because I DEMAND it of them, but because they will see it as a sign of loving respect. I do not show my love of God by forcing my children to function. I show my love of God by lovingly and consistently showing my children who HE is in my life. Who He can be in their lives!

Printed out the article. Am posting it where I can see it everytime I get discouraged. Then going to skip the frantic and frustrating search for the paper Edith wants me to find and instead find the time to spend loving my Father! Once I feel that connection I will tackle the next project of the day. Not the next 10 projects! Just one! One step at a time!

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