Monday, March 26, 2012

Tough Love Parenting

Ugh! I sit here listening to my almost 12 year old daughter dilly dally her way through the day. She should be in school but she insists on taking FOREVER to do her morning routine and missed the bus. I am refusing to take her to school and instead making her do chores. When I type that, it seems harsh. I feel like a rotten Mommy. Then I realize that I already bend over backwards and give her TWO hours to get up, shower, get dressed, come downstairs, eat breakfast and empty the dishwasher. She has an alarm to get her up, another alarm to tell her that if she is to make it through the morning she needs to be heading downstairs right now, the light in the bathroom is on a 15 minute timer so she knows when to get out of the shower, the dishwasher is usually big stuff as the last load of the night so faster to put away in the morning and yet she still doesn't do it. Not she can't...she doesn't. And therein lies the difference! She is capable. There are mornings when she does it in 45 minutes or an hour. So why is TWO HOURS so hard for her?

I find myself making excuses. I blame her Aspergers or I say "Maybe she got to sleep late and is having trouble waking up". But the reality is she is making a choice and she needs to learn that choices have consequences. I really struggle with this part of parenting! I never know what the "right" thing to do it. Especially when it seems like my choices aren't getting through and lessons aren't being learned! 

So I am leaving the computer now to start her on another project to do while I have speech therapy with my 2 year old son. Then I will get to move on to the next thing. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!

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